A Year Ago Today

One year ago today I drove myself to the firestation to show Chris my positive test. We were so excited that we had finally been blessed. We thought our prayers were answered. Two days later we got the worst news we could've imagined. It was ectopic.

I don't want to dwell on it today but I am feeling quiet and thoughtful. I can't believe that a year later, we are still waiting on that blessing. I can't help but wonder why God is not blessing us. I can't help but wonder why everyone around us is being blessed, while we sit on the bench. I'm sorry if I sound bitter. Maybe I am a little.

Having the ectopic pregnancy is part of our journey. I don't think I should forget it or let it go, because it is a part of this emotional rollercoaster we've been on for the past two years. I just hope the ride stops soon and we're allowed to get on a different ride. One without so many nosedives.