I guess I'm a little late on this

Well, IUI #2 ended the same as IUI #1. The current plan is to do another IUI. If it is not successful then we will likely try IVF with the frozen egg from IUI #1, along with any others the RE is able to retrieve from IUI #3...fingers crossed. We will be waiting a couple of cycles to do the IUI though, for financial reasons.

I have 10 teaching days left this school year! YAY!!! I am looking forward to my summer off to relax and get some things done that just don't happen during the school year. I know this is short, but I don't have much else to say at the moment.

Update

Well, I started cycle #27 today. I did quite a bit of pouting about it yesterday but I'm going to try to look forward and be as positive as possible this cycle. We will be doing another IUI this month, with Femara and Menopur injections. I'll keep everyone posted. Hopefully it will work. And if it doesn't, hopefully we will have some extra eggs to retrieve and freeze and be able to do a frozen IVF cycle next, which is much cheaper. So there's the update. Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers!

Hope

Right now I'm in my two week wait...the last one before the next IUI. Out last chance of making a baby on our own without my legs being in stirrups in Dr. "Yazzie's" office (as Chris refers to him, haha). I wish that I had a lot of hope. In fact, I wish I was brimming over with it. But I'm not. If someone could tell me how to have hope after 25 failed cycles, please let me know. I know that an IUI gives us a slightly better chance of getting pregnant then we have on our own. But if I'm thinking logically...we have about a 20-30% chance of it working which means we have a 70-80% chance of it NOT working. I'm just so tired of the disappointment.

I watched a documentary last night about this lesbian couple that used donor sperm to get pregnant. They did IUIs for SIX years before getting pregnant with their first child. SIX years! I do not want to be childless in six years and watch everyone else's children go off to school while I haven't even had a baby shower! The couple really wanted their children to be full siblings and were running out of the donor sperm so the second go-round they did IVF and got PG right away. Part of me just thinks we should go straight to IVF and not waste our time with an IUI. The cost is so much more but increases our chance to about 70%. I really don't like being where we are now....making choices that can affect our outcome. Stop trying for a while, keep trying on our own, IUI, IVF, injectables, frozen eggs or fresh, adoption? I just want it to happen so my world can revolve around being a mommy instead of a mommy wannabee. I'm just frustrated. And wishing I had even a little more hope.

Back to add one thing, my next cycle will start ON or extremely close to the day my cycle that I got pregnant (and had the ectopic) last year. It would be neat to get pregnant exactly a year later. I wish I were superstitious enough to believe it was a *sign* but I'm not anymore.

Plans for June...

I know we are supposed to be taking a break but it's so hard to take a mental break. We're not temping or timing anything or taking any meds. But it is impossible to not think about TTC at all.

We're discussing all of our options but not making any solid decisions yet. We've thought about doing another IUI in June. We've thought about going straight to IVF (in vitro fertilization)...which would be more costly, but give us a MUCH better chance. We've even talked about adoption. Sometimes I wonder if we are meant to adopt. Part of me wants so desperately to do whatever it takes to have a biological child. Another part of me thinks about how much I want to have a child and that IUI or IVF is a huge expense with no guarantee. I wish I could see into the future and just know what to expect. This feels like a roller coaster with no end in sight most of the time.

I'm trying to enjoy the break but also feel like we're wasting time. Why does this have to be so difficult? Why can the majority of the world just get pregnant...most of which without even freaking trying except for us and the rest of the unlucky 20%. Sigh...

The Countdown is on!

Well, I am responding VERY well to the Menopur. I had a doctors appointment yesterday and I have six follicles that are a good size! That's right! Six! Instead of popping some of them (the original plan), the doctor is going to retrieve some of the eggs and freeze them. If we get pregnant this month then we won't use them and won't pay for them. I asked if I could donate them if we don't use them, but my RE's office doesn't do that in their office yet. If we don't get pregnant this cycle, then we can do a frozen IVF cycle for about a third or fourth of the cost of a normal IVF. We are really excited to have this as an option!

So I got my last Menopur shot tonight! THANK GOD! Chris gives me an HCG injection tomorrow night and then we go in Monday morning for the retrieval and IUI. I am really excited and pretty nervous about them retrieving the eggs.

I feel like we've got such a good chance. I am staying positive. It CAN happen. :)